I don't want fame.

I don't want money.

I don't want status.

I don't want friendship.

I don't want influence.

I don't want education.

I don't want to be wanted.

I don't want anything.

Yet I am considered wrong.

The fools...

For 4 years I've sabotaged what I wanted to do with art by drinking myself to death.

My living family exploits what little money I have for their own benefit.

The one person who is attracted to me I must give up because it makes my living family "unconfortable."

Fuck capitalist society

Out of all the jobs that I am qualified for under capitalism it is the sales job that had the decency to give me a potential interview.

Yeah this system needs to be destroyed by any and all means necessary.

I resent sales

After I apply for jobs tomorrow I will restart Chou That's sketch like the pros course.

This isn't going to be a good day.

Update: New phone acquired. Applied to a few jobs on indeed, saved a few YouTube playlist on computer science from teachyourselfcs.com and finding recommended books from libgen.

I am 34 years old and a girl asked me out to a halloween party today.

Why am I smiling?

My current job as an IT consultant neither adds nor takes away any value from society for evwry dollar than I'm paid.

Yet, by doing my "job" I am helping those above me "destroy" hundreds of thousands if not millions of dollars of value for inefficiencies.

That explains the drinking....I know I'm living a lie.

Google SIEM and SOAR

Google Cloud Cybersecurity

Google Secuirty Operations

Because A+ isn't enough anymore

Addendum: SIEM Badge earned

Addendum 2: SOAR Badge earned July 23rd

I am in a political-socioeconomic situation that will not allow me to experience the fumbling that is romantic love; and that it more than okay.

This is nothing to mourn, rather it is a means to self-discovery.

Or that's the lie I choose to comfort myself with.

I don't want to go into the office tomorrow, but have no choice......